Ash Wednesday

The Cloud of Unknowing,
"O God, our great companion, lead us ever more deeply into the mystery of your life and ours, that we may be faithful interpreters of that Life to each other, through our Lord Jesus Christ.” Amen.
A large part of my sabbatical last September was walking across northern Spain on a 1200 year old pilgrimage trail that ended at the tomb of St. James the Apostle in the city of Santiago de Compostela. About the 3rd day of our walk (from the city of Leon), we had covered about 30 miles, and we were at the highest point of the Camino. It was on a mountain called Mt. Irago, and at the peak there was a 100 foot tall slender wooden pole, and on top of the pole was a small metal cross. The place is called, Cruz de Ferro, or Cross of Iron. It is the tradition that every pilgrim, and there are about 100,000 each year, leaves a rock, hopefully from their home, at El Cruz de Ferro. Even if the rocks are small, 100,000 rocks over the years really adds up. When you get to the pole, you see a mound of things around it- “Many people leave trinkets, pictures, pins, flags, notes, or other memorabilia to attach to the cross.” The idea is that the stone you bring from home and leave there is a symbol for your sins or maybe your sorrows, , and when you reach the Cruz de Ferro, you are to leave your sins or your sorrows there, and walk on to Santiago-about another 170 miles.
Many of the stones or letters or photos or clothing left there have achingly painful things written on them. But I noticed one thing as I placed my stones next to the Cruz de Ferro-I didn’t feel any lighter. I didn’t feel like my sins were left behind, or that my sorrows were washed away.
I thought about this as I walked the next few miles down the mountain. I wondered if I hadn’t done it right, maybe my stone was too small, maybe I didn’t use the right stone, maybe I should have written my sins on it, who knows. But I didn’t feel any differently. Lots of people write on the internet about how they felt so free after leaving their stone, that they were new people, or a tremendous weight had been lifted from their shoulders. Not me. All I felt was a little more guilty at not feeling less guilty.
The place I finally came to is that leaving a rock on the ground is just too easy. Sins don’t get left behind-even on a far away mountain, even after a difficult climb. Sins or memories of sins, follow me around like a shadow, and they aren’t easily left behind. They can’t be laid down on the ground, they can’t be put onto a rock. The only way I know to get rid of my sins is to name them-and then to try to make them right. Sometimes this means going to someone that I have offended and admitting my fault. Sometimes, it means that I have to work hard over a period of time to try to make things right. Sometimes I just don’t know how to heal the separations between myself and another, or myself and God.
I hoped that climbing a mountain and setting down a rock would help, but it really didn’t. I had to learn again, what I already knew-there are no shortcuts in trying to bring about healing and penitence in my life. I guess it’s why Lent isn’t a weekend long-but 40 days. I can’t let down a sin just because I don’t want it anymore.
Joel 2:1-18
2Blow the trumpet in Zion; sound the alarm on my holy mountain! Let all the inhabitants of the land tremble, for the day of the Lord is coming, it is near— 2a day of darkness and gloom, a day of clouds and thick darkness! Like blackness spread upon the mountains a great and powerful army comes; their like has never been from of old, nor will be again after them in ages to come. 3Fire devours in front of them, and behind them a flame burns. Before them the land is like the garden of Eden, but after them a desolate wilderness, and nothing escapes them. 4They have the appearance of horses, and like war-horses they charge. 5As with the rumbling of chariots, they leap on the tops of the mountains, like the crackling of a flame of fire devouring the stubble, like a powerful army drawn up for battle. 6Before them peoples are in anguish, all faces grow pale. 7Like warriors they charge, like soldiers they scale the wall. Each keeps to its own course, they do not swerve from their paths. 8They do not jostle one another, each keeps to its own track; they burst through the weapons and are not halted. 9They leap upon the city, they run upon the walls; they climb up into the houses, they enter through the windows like a thief. 10The earth quakes before them, the heavens tremble. The sun and the moon are darkened, and the stars withdraw their shining. 11The Lord utters his voice at the head of his army; how vast is his host! Numberless are those who obey his command. Truly the day of the Lord is great; terrible indeed—who can endure it?
12Yet even now, says the Lord, return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; 13rend your hearts and not your clothing. Return to the Lord, your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love, and relents from punishing. 14Who knows whether he will not turn and relent, and leave a blessing behind him, a grain offering and a drink offering for the Lord, your God? 15Blow the trumpet in Zion; sanctify a fast; call a solemn assembly; 16gather the people. Sanctify the congregation; assemble the aged; gather the children, even infants at the breast. Let the bridegroom leave his room, and the bride her canopy. 17Between the vestibule and the altar let the priests, the ministers of the Lord, weep. Let them say, “Spare your people, O Lord, and do not make your heritage a mockery, a byword among the nations. Why should it be said among the peoples, ‘Where is their God?’”
18Then the Lord became jealous for his land, and had pity on his people.
2 Corinthians 5:20 - 6:10
20So we are ambassadors for Christ, since God is making his appeal through us; we entreat you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. 21For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
6As we work together with him, we urge you also not to accept the grace of God in vain. 2For he says, “At an acceptable time I have listened to you, and on a day of salvation I have helped you.” See, now is the acceptable time; see, now is the day of salvation! 3We are putting no obstacle in anyone’s way, so that no fault may be found with our ministry, 4but as servants of God we have commended ourselves in every way: through great endurance, in afflictions, hardships, calamities, 5beatings, imprisonments, riots, labors, sleepless nights, hunger; 6by purity, knowledge, patience, kindness, holiness of spirit, genuine love, 7truthful speech, and the power of God; with the weapons of righteousness for the right hand and for the left; 8in honor and dishonor, in ill repute and good repute. We are treated as impostors, and yet are true; 9as unknown, and yet are well known; as dying, and see—we are alive; as punished, and yet not killed; 10as sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; as poor, yet making many rich; as having nothing, and yet possessing everything.
Matthew 6:1-21
6“Beware of practicing your piety before others in order to be seen by them; for then you have no reward from your Father in heaven. 2“So whenever you give alms, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be praised by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 3But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4so that your alms may be done in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
5“And whenever you pray, do not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, so that they may be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 6But whenever you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you. 7“When you are praying, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do; for they think that they will be heard because of their many words. 8Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him.
16“And whenever you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces so as to show others that they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward. 17But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, 18so that your fasting may be seen not by others but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
19“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal; 20but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumes and where thieves do not break in and steal. 21For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.