Never Enough

Sermon-7 Pentecost-Proper 13-July 31, 2011
The Cloud of Unknowing, "O God, our great companion, lead us ever more deeply into the mystery of your life and ours, that we may be faithful interpreters of that Life to each other, through our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.
“My God of peace, of joy and delight,
I offer you all my tears, all my ignorance.
My God of peace, of joy and delight,
I offer you all my fears and fractured promises.
You, my God, know all this, all this;
How poor I am, how small I am;
You, my God, know all this, all this.
Yet what I have, my God, I give to you.”
[Paul Verlaine 1844-1896]
Matthew 14:13-21
Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a deserted place by himself. But when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns. When he went ashore, he saw a great crowd; and he had compassion for them and cured their sick. When it was evening, the disciples came to him and said, "This is a deserted place, and the hour is now late; send the crowds away so that they may go into the villages and buy food for themselves." Jesus said to them, "They need not go away; you give them something to eat." They replied, "We have nothing here but five loaves and two fish." And he said, "Bring them here to me." Then he ordered the crowds to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish, he looked up to heaven, and blessed and broke the loaves, and gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the crowds. And all ate and were filled; and they took up what was left over of the broken pieces, twelve baskets full. And those who ate were about five thousand men, besides women and children.
Last January we had to put our little Pomeranian, Gracie, down. Debby came down with pneumonia in February. Our kids were going through a lot of problems. Then we had to put Ozzie, our beloved terrier, down in March. Then my mother was diagnosed with cancer in April. It was a tough spring. People, you, who knew about some of this, would try to not bother me with problems or issues. People kept e-mailing me saying, “I hate to bring this up right now but….” People knew we were going through a lot, and they were trying to protect us. But life kept getting in the way. On the day that Ozzie died, I had Helen Wilson’s funeral. I did premarital counseling the day my mother was diagnosed. The timing was terrible. Too many things happening personally to focus very well in terms of ministry. But that happens, right? I kept thinking, “man, where’s my head?, no concentration, not listening, unable to give people what they need. I just kept thinking, I wish I could compartmentalize better-keep personal stuff over here-church stuff over there, and not mush the two together. Life kept getting in the way. Hold on to that.
I don’t know if you picked this up from other sermons that I gave this summer, but Jesus is not doing well in this section of Matthew. It’s subtle, but it’s there. I told you a last week that Jesus began using parables because his teaching wasn’t effective. That’s why he resorted to parables. That’s chapter 12. In Chapter 13 it says that Jesus went to his home town and “57And they took offence at him. But Jesus said to them, ‘Prophets are not without honor except in their own country and in their own house.’ 58And he did not do many deeds of power there, because of their unbelief.”
And then in chapter 14 Jesus learns that his cousin, the person who baptized him, has been put to death by beheading. That’s the lead up to today’s gospel. “Now when Jesus heard this, he withdrew from there in a boat to a deserted place by himself.” This had to be a tough time for Jesus-depressing, discouraging-he needed to get away, grieve, heal, be replenished. But instead-what happens? “…when the crowds heard it, they followed him on foot from the towns.” They needed him. The timing was terrible. Too many things happening personally to focus very well in terms of ministry. Too much going on in his life. Life was getting in the way.
Do you ever think of Jesus this way? Running on empty, tired, spent, needing a breather? As a rule, I don’t. I think Of Jesus as a man without any real human needs so when I run across an example of Jesus being human it brings me up short. In today’s story, he just doesn’t seem to have anything left to give. He’s drained, hurting, sad-in mourning. And then he’s faced with 5000 hungry people. All wanting-him.
If you’re a parent you’ve been there. If you work in a high stress job, you’ve been there. If you are alive and breathing-you’ve been there. We have al been in this spot-some more than others. People needing you and wanting you and calling for you, and all you want to do is run away and hide and not be needed for awhile? And then somebody finds you in your hiding place-and they need you! Now.
It’s growing dark, after a long day. The people gathered have no food. The disciples come to Jesus and say, “it’s getting late, you better send the people away so they can eat”. That’s their solution. People are hungry-send them away. And Jesus says, “bring me what you have”. But they don’t have enough. That’s what we’re supposed to get from this story. No one in this gospel story has enough of what they need, Jesus doesn’t have enough alone time; the people don’t have enough food; the disciples don’t have enough understanding. Everyone in this story is empty, everyone-Jesus, the people, the disciples, everyone is out of what they need. We’re supposed to see that.
Think about your life. Do you have enough? When is the last time that you thought to yourself, “my health is pretty good”? or “I have way too much empty time”? or “I have more than enough money”? or “my heart is way too full right now”? When is the last time you really felt like you hadenough of what was really important to you? Remember that great quote by J. Paul Getty, the billionaire? When asked how much money would be enough for him? He answered, “just a little bit more than I have.”
When is the last time you had enough?
Bring me what you have, (paraphrased) Jesus tells them. Bring me what you have. It doesn’t matter if it’s not enough. It doesn’t matter if it’s inadequate. It doesn’t matter if it’s insuficient. Jesus doesn’t yell at them when they show up with 5 loaves and 2 fish. “What , you expect me to feed 5000 people with THIS! Jesus says to his friends, “you feed them”. One sermon I was reading on this gospel was written from the disciples perspective and was entitled, “you want us to do what??!!!” This story is about how much everyone needed-and how little everyone had
Jesus takes the little that he is given, the little that he has, and he feeds them. He blesses what he has been given-and he gives it away. This is the only miracle story that’s in all 4 gospels, the feeding of the 5000 people out in the wilderness. Jesus takes the meager amount that he has, and blesses it-and gives it away. The meager amount of spirit, the scant amount of energy, the paltry amount of food, the insignificant amount of hope-and he blesses it-and gives it to the people who are hungry for it.
The nature of being human is this-we never ever believe that we have enough. We will always feel as though we need more, must have more, are way too short of what we require. The nature of being divine is that the little we have is plenty. “Bring me what you have” Jesus tells them, and it sufficed.
We can be so short of the things we want- time, heath, money, happiness, love. When we come to the altar rail no one is ever asked, “are you good enough?” “were you faithful enough this week?” “are you a good enough?”. Everyone who comes to the rail is given just enough to feel God’s touch, and know God’s love. It is never enough for us. We always want more. But some days it dawns on us- we have all that we need-and we ask God to bless all that we are. And it is enough. And as empty and inadequate and as hungry as we are-it is enough. “Bring me what you have.” There is a great story that I have told many times over the years about the Jewish people of Eastern Europe in the
Once to avert a terrible disaster, the Baal Shem Tov went into the forest, lit a candle and prayed a special prayer. With God’s help, the disaster was averted.
Years after his death, another disaster confronted the Jews and it fell to his disciple, the Maggid of Mezritch to avert the catastrophe. He said, “I don’t know the prayer the Baal Shem Tov used, but I know the place and I can light the candle.” So he went to the same place and lit the candle, and it was enough. With God’s help the disaster was averted.
After the Maggid passed from the earth another crisis awaited the Jewish people and it fell to his disciple, the Rabbi Shmelke of Nikolsberg to rescue the people. He said, “I do not know the prayer, and I do not have the candle, but I can go to the place and it must be enough.” And so he did, and with God’s help, it was enough.
After the death of Rabbi Smelke, Rabbi Moshe Leib of Sassov, his disciple was called upon to save his people from another calamity . He said, “Ah me! I do not know the prayer, I do not have the candle, and I do not even know where the forest is. But I do know the story. I will tell it and God will help.” And so it was enough.
We bring to God what we have. It is insufficient. We bring to God all that we know. It is inadequate. We bring to God who we are. And we still hunger. And yet God blesses us, and feeds us, and loves us-despite all of shortcomings, despite all of the ways that life gets in the way. And it is enough.